Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Coming out



                In chapter 3, Alison completely exposes herself and her own personal struggles with her sexuality and her coming out to us readers.  She opens the chapter with telling us that “My father’s death was a queer business—queer in every sense of that multi-valent word.” (pg. 57)  She then highlights different definitions of the word queer that I found to be extremely interesting and true to her father’s characteristics.  These definitions were “At variance with what is usual or normal in character, appearance, or action; strange; suspicious”, “qualmish; faint”, “to thwart, ruin; to put (one) in a bad position;”, “counterfeit” (pg. 57) Her father was extremely suspicious and different with his actions and was definitely not normal.  She then tells us of her experience, four months earlier, about coming out to her parents.  While away at school, she sent them a letter.  Ironically, her parents were not as understanding about the news as she had hoped.  I found this to be ironic because her father had affairs with other men, and her mother had known about them.  Alison says, “I’d been upstaged, demoted from protagonist in my own drama to comic relief in my parents’ tragedy” (pg.59).  This made Alison feel belittled in her biggest time in her life.  While she expected her parents to reciprocate some sort of support or empathy, she is relayed even more shocking news than she had given. 
                Alison also tells us of her father’s passion about the novel The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald.  She tells us how her father saw himself in various characters and tells us of the bizarre parallels between the novel and her father.  She says, “Gatsby’s self-willed metamorphosis from farm boy to prince in many ways is identical to my father’s.” (pg. 63)  As we read earlier in the book, her father grew up on, and ventured into the farms near his house.  We have also read how he was the “prince” or ruler of their household.  She also tells us of how he even looked like the man who played Gatsby in the movie. 
                Alison also shares the downfall of her parent’s marriage.  She tells us that “They did not use terms of endearment” (pg.68). This must have been hard for Alison and her brothers to grow up around.  While she remembers two moments where her parents showed slight affection for each other, the rest of the memories were dark.  Her and her brothers would sit on the stairs and hear her parents fighting and sounds of crashing.  Rather than accepting that there was physical abuse going on the house, they would make excuses such as “Sounds like he knocked a stack of books off the desk.” (pg.69) I do not blame Alison and her brothers for doing this.  Growing up in an abusive household is extremely hard and can be detrimental on a child.  Rather than facing the truth, they would make excuses to not face reality.  By the end of the chapter, we find out that her parents divorced.  If her parents had divorced earlier, would Alison’s childhood have been any easier?

4 comments:

  1. I agree with Stephanie's post about chapter 3. Stephanie stated, "She then tells us of her experience, four months earlier, about coming out to her parents. While away at school, she sent them a letter. Ironically, her parents were not as understanding about the news as she had hoped. I found this to be ironic because her father had affairs with other men, and her mother had known about them." I understand what Stephanie is trying to say. Why would her mother accept her father for doing illegal and horrible things but not her daughter on being a lesbian which isn't even illegal? If this were to happen today, I'm sure any mother would be by their child's side with whatever they decided about their sexuality. A real parent would support their daughter. This proves that they didn't have a healthy relationship. If Alison's parents divorced earlier, I do think Alison childhood would have been easier. She wouldn't have been a piece of furniture to her father and she wouldn't have the burden on herself that he killed himself because the fact she was lesbian.

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  2. I also agree with Stephanie's views on chapter three. I thought it was interesting that her father was more accepting of Alison's "coming out" than her mother, but I guess he understands what Alison is going through in a way. Her mother probably discourages Alison from being a lesbian because she was hurt by Bruce from cheating on her with other men. I also thought it was interesting how her father compared himself to Fitzgerald a lot. Stephanie said, "She tells us how her father saw himself in various characters and tells us of the bizarre parallels between the novel and her father." It's almost like he was so wrapped up in trying to mimic his life to Fitzgerald's that he forgot about the people who are truly important to him.

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  3. Alexa makes a good point about the irony of Alison's mother in not fully accepting her daughter as being a lesbian. This is clearly ironic because her husband was having affairs with other men and she knew about it and knew that he was also having affairs with underage boys which is illegal and stayed with him. Secondly i find it very interesting how the father was obsessed with Fitzgerald and that he lived only 3 days longer than the father. This proves in my opinion that the father committed suicide because he was mimicking Fitzgerald's life.I also agree with April that the father was so caught up in following in Fitzgerald's foot steps that he forgot about his own family.

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  4. I agree with my fellow classmates’ posts. The clarity of Alison’s feelings being ignored is highlighted throughout the chapter. Just as the others said, it was very shocking to me how disapproving her mother was toward Alison’s sexuality. Like April said, “Her mother probably discourages Alison from being a lesbian because she was hurt by Bruce from cheating on her with other men”. Even when confessing something as critical as this, Alison still feels that she is put to the side. The dysfunctional lifestyle that her family lived for years affected each family member differently, especially Bruce. Alison mentions how her mother’s smile eventually fades away as the years with her father progress. In its own sense, Bruce is similar to Precious’ father who takes away the protagonist’s mother’s emotional sanity.

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